I lay awake in a near panic, most nights. Some nights I sleep blissfully, most nights I write a “pretend email” to my therapist. So I decided that I was going to share those thoughts here.
I will allow myself 50 words at night to set the idea for recall tomorrow, then I have to go to sleep.
That will, in theory, motivate me to actually get my brain together during the day. Because that rarely happens any more. The only downside to staying home, is how quickly one becomes comfortable being stupid and totally unaware. It’s so easy, which is a whole different conversation, to disconnect but that’s not a good thing.
So now I’m motivated to get up and going in the mornings, sparking my brain back up, and finish my writing. Which hopefully will eventually open the door to other positive and engaging interactions… Which can only lead to more growth and change on many levels. And tada! she lives happily ever after.
Or tada! I’ve fabricated my own meaning in life (because there is quite literally no meaning to life otherwise) and persued things that made me happy and bettered myself as well as the world around me…. And that’s it. That’s life, if you achieve that you “win”.
So those letters will be stored here. I like to think maybe someday, the right person(s) will stumble upon them and find something helpful for themselves or someone they know.